Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you had a nice and fun christmas.

Me and my cousins planned the menu for noche buena. I think that we are slowly assuming position. Anyway, Christmas really is for kids. I just wish I were able to prepare for that. I know most of the kids in our compound were quite disappointed.

Petty issues surfaced at work and though it was petty, those issues still hurt me. Anyway, I realized that I am still VERY lucky and blessed because my family is very much present in my life, a lot of people love me despite my weaknesses and shortcomings. I may be rejected by almost everyone, but God will always love me and will never reject me ever.

Oh, btw, this Christmas, I also did a little review of my year. I am planning to post my reflection of this year next time.

All in all, my Christmas has been great.

Christmas Parties

Now playing Somewhere only We know by Keane Lifehouse' version. I like the lyrics because I can relate to them.

I had my 3rd Main Pharmacy Christmas party today, though I am a guest today. The turn out is good this year. I was surprised to see a lot of people. The food were overflowing. Prizes given were also useful. I joined in several games and it was funny because I wasn't really exerting any effort to win but just by being with Jhonna, I won with her. I now have an extra pillow and a towel.

I liked how I described my baby...but I was kinda offended with how my mommy described me...I am really conscious with my figure. Anyway, I could see the division in my old area. I used to think that main is united. But maybe, I just didn't see it before or maybe, there really are changes but there are different groups formed already. It's just so sad.

We were also supposed to roam around the mall tonight but they changed their mind and so I just pushed through with my own plan.

Anyway, changes happen whether I like it or not.

On other thoughts...I discovered something about my former crush. If only I could freely talk about it but of course I don't want to hurt anyone although for me I know where I belong and I know that I should never ever cross the line. But I am nonetheless happy with my life.

Anyway, for days I have been really busy with work. Maybe we were just too slow. Or there is something wrong with us but still I couldn't shake this feeling inside me. They have been within me for so long. I am talking about my dreams. And they are screaming inside me. They want to get out and be made into reality. The intensity inside is getting more powerful. Me and my dreams want to break free. We want our freedom to be the best that we can be.

For months, regrets and anger are the sole feelings inside me but now dreams and anger are battling inside me. And I intend to make my dreams win. For some miracle, I can feel God's love now.

It really feels great to love.

Thoughts

I have been really busy. OT palagi. It would have been better if it's paid but it's more like OTY...

Last Friday, our area held our Christmas party/gimmick. We went to Music Match at Macapagal whatever...and we had a great time. My former crush was my daddy. My boss was my baby.

It was an interesting night because 3 of the interesting people in our workplace were there.

Tomorrow will be the christmas party of my former area.

I'm glad Yeng won the PDA but I was disappointed when Panky didn't make it to Top 3.

The air is colder in Lipa but it's also cold in Manila.

I love it when Raymond drives a car and I am sitting beside him.

The Past

I've been really busy for the past few days...anyway, have you watched last Saturday's expulsion night at pda? I just realized that filipinos can't be left alone to decide for themselves as far as talent is concern. I just can't believe how Yvan was expelled. He knows how to play musical instruments, he can compose songs and he has a great voice. He is also quite good-looking. How can he be expelled? I was expecting Ronnie, Chad, and Irish to be expelled because they have little talents as compared to others but since they look good, they are still in the academy. Oh well, I know that with Yvan's talent, I will still see him on tv and hear him over the radio.

Sportsfest has come and go. Our team did not become the champion.

Nanay Metring's birthday was okay. we had a party. For the first time, I took a shot with Raymond around. And evrywhere I went, it seemed like people kept on discouraging me. Like my aunt seeing me do belly dancing and she told me that I could never be sexy--that I would be fat forever. And then a family friend came to the party and when she saw me she commented that I gained a lot of weight (tumaba ka yata)...people...

Everyone is just expecting me to fail. But I won't give up. I even wonder how they can be mean. I still know who I am. They can discourage me all they want, but I know that God has great plans for me. I will never give up.

Refusing to Give Up

My Mom cornered me last Sunday morning. She tried to talk me into quitting my job and instead venture into business. She told me that I am not successful. Thanks, Mom for informing me that...Anyway, the truth is I want to go into business but not now. I still have my plans. I know she meant well and she just wanted the best for me. But really, what's the measure of success? How can you tell if someone is successful or not? The last time I checked, I was still happy with my job. Yeah, I'm still a b**ch when it comes to dealing with my customers but I like the nature of my work. I still think that my job is one of the most important jobs in the world because it is geared towards service--serving others. God gives me skills and I am using them to serve others. I still have my ideals. Isn't that a success?

And if I were to give up on most of my dreams, I might as well be dead.

I still want the pursuit I'm doing. I still want to try everything I can to make my dreams come true.

I refuse to give up.

And someday, I know, my dreams will come true and much more.

Sharing an Umbrella on a Stormy Night

I'm back.

Last Thursday, people from work and I went to the gay bar. It was a traumatic experience but it was fun. I won't go into details because most of the stuff I've seen there are for adults only. Hehe...

But before going there, we hung out at Off the Grill. Pido was playing that night. And oh my, his voice made me fall to whomever my heart beated for that night.

It's nice to spend time with the people from work.

I could not help but feel lucky because during that time, typhoon Reming passed by Bicol and Batangas. Although it didn't cause any casualty at Batangas, Bicol had so many deaths now. Houses ruined, life shattered. It's really hard to understand why those tragedies happened. But then it's just part of nature's ways. Nature never forgives. Nature does whatever it likes. And it is a miracle that Manila is spared this time--while we were out in our selfish voyage. While others were having a hell time, we were having a good time. I feel a little guilty. Anyway, life is a balance. And I have enough shit in my life, it couldn't fit the toilet anymore. :)

It's only now also that I get to miss someone.

It's December already, I hope the Christmas spirit enters your heart. I suggest you wtach Deck the Hall--it's a good Christmas movie.