What do I expect

Is fear part of the stages of grief? Because that is what i am feeling right now.

Last night, I found myself in the same situation 2 years ago. 2 years ago I felt like it was the end of the world. I had a reason to cry and be depressed since it was not really my choice. But this time, there is pressure surrounding me. That I have been here and so I should be stronger. I should be able to handle this situation without asking for help. That this time I SHOULD BE BETTER.

But sometimes, I just want to curl up in a corner and just give up. Sometimes, I want to pull time so it will be faster so I can skip a few months, fast forward to when my dream is finally coming true.

Haay...i am now at the point where I don't really want to listen to love songs and I don't want to see people in love. I am bitter.