I always see that old man buying from us. He has always been nice but knowing the spontaneity of the customers' character in my work--I don't want to believe it. And last night, for some reason, one of our clerks interviewed him. It turned out that his daughter has leukemia. It has only been a month or week since it was diagnosed. That night he was buying some medicines but with the lack of funds, he wasn't able to buy an antineoplastic drug for leukemia. So our clerk suggested that he buy Goji juice just like Noni juice and all the other herbals in the market nowadays. A lot of people from our department liked Goji juice and so most of them recommended it to others. He was gonna buy one for his daughter. But first he must take the meds first to his daughter. When he came back, he was asking for a refund form because as he was talking with us, his daughter died. His daughter was just 26. A few weeks ago, she was just like us--strong, young, and full of life. But she was suddenly diagnosed with leukemia. She died just like that.

We, in our area, were sad that night.

We are young and so full of life. But death find no exemptions. If it is your time, then it's your time.

No more Goji juice for her. Refunds for her father. Funeral. Babang-luksa. Moving on.

Isn't it sad when you go first instead of your parents? I don't want to cause that much pain to my parents. I'd rather be the lonely one.


Hay kung di ba naman nananadya ang tadhana. Masakit na nga ang puso ko aba meron pang movie ang Star Cinema entitled DUBAI. Grabe ito, syempre nakita ko ang safari and everything. Tipong andyan si Mark, ano kaya kung makita ko siya? Makakapunta pa kaya ako dyan?

Galing 'no? Bakit ba ganito? Tapos kagabi nag-usap kami and he told me about marriage pero hindi sya nagpropose kundi pinasakit lang niya ang puso ko by telling me about his friends na dahil "mahal na mahal" nila ang isa't isa eh sige payag agad ang babae.

Eto na nga ako eh, ako pa nagyaya sa kanya pero ayaw niya. He was the one who rejected me.

Okay lang. I guess I won't be watching tv for now para lang I can avoid the trailer of that movie. But knowing me, I might still watch it. What am I afraid of? Be hurt? Hello?! Eh eto na nga nasasaktan na ako. Buhay pa naman ako. So hindi siguro ako mamamatay kung masaktan at umiyak ulit ako habang pinapanood ang pelikulang iyon.

Going home helped a lot. Di kase ako umiyak nung off ko eh at nasa bahay ako.


Sundays have always been beautiful. That is why I really hate it when I have to spend it alone--especially when I have to spend it in Manila. The only time that I remember enjoying myself here (in Manila) on a sunday was during my stay with my relatives, and or spending it with him.

The magic of sundays never fails. In Manila, the streets are usually wide--very light traffic. The thought of spending time at the mall especially SM Manila or Mega Mall or any other SM makes me long for my family--thus making me happy.

In my hometown, the streets are usually crowded with people going to and from the Cathedral at the heart of the city. I enjoy hearing the mass. There was a time when my cousins and I would meet on a sunday and together hear the mass then go to Dunkin' or 7-11 afterwards. I also love it when I go to mass with my Mom or my sis.

I used to hate Sundays. Maybe because thinking about it and looking at myself make me depress. But last night, I realized why I hate sundays. Knowing about it open my mind to so many things to look forward to, not only during sundays but for the rest of my life.

I also want to tell you about him. Yes, I still love him but loving him does not hurt that much anymore. I guess, I have already accepted things. I have chosen to believe in the old saying about freedom and letting go, and coming back. I think that's true. I'm glad he's still around. I just hope we'll be together sooner.

Speaking of, I have to think about my plans so I guess I'll be going home today. I hope the result of the IELTS will come out already...(may result na but they mailed my letter/result). Hmm...

I'm glad at work because we have no anxious or angry customers today. I hope I won't always come across hard customers. Dealing with them is traumatic/stressful.

I like watching PINOY BIG BROTHER. I like all the housemates. It's like blog on tv.

I'm also glad it's a holiday today because I don't have to work with the people who don't like me.

Gotta go home.

When God Speaks

I was tagged by Pobs...

20 years Ago:

I was 3 years old. I can't remember anything. Sorry. My first memory of childhood was when I was 4 years old when I first learned how to pray. Been praying to have a talking doll, and chocolates, and cakes. Hehe...

10 Years Ago:

I was in highschool. I went to De La Salle Lipa. All that was in my mind then was my studies. I did have a lot of crushes then but my studies was my main priority. And I was able to be in the cream section.

5 Years Ago:

I had the best year of my life. I turned 18. I really enjoyed my stay in college (UP Manila). I was able to buy and read the books I like. I loved my subjects. My classmates and I went to Puerto Galera for our Zoology subject. I was still determined. Inspired. I did have some major crushes but I was still determined not to get love be in the way.

I was already an internet junkie. Back then, I loved washing my clothes manually. I still iron my clothes. My weight was still normal. I loved fashion then.

3 Years Ago:

I was 20. Still in college. Mark was already in my life. I was overweight. I forgot about fashion. I've been going through a lot of trials with my family and my studies. But I was determined not to fail any of my subjects anymore. Since I did have a boyfriend. Kakahiya kase sa magulang ko kung may ibabagsak ako.

Last Year:

My family and I were dealing with the death of my father. We were also adjusting to our new house. It felt like everything was falling into place after the series of trials and dramas that we have experienced. Serenity at last. Mark went home for a vacation. We were able to spend time together. I have loved him even more.

I was introduced to blogging.

This Year:

Heaviest challenge with my relationship. Will it survive or not? I don't know. It's up to him.


I came from Lipa to my work. When I arrived at my workplace, it was full of people. Donor pharmacy was having their semi-annual inventory and so all donor patients were to go to us. Toxic talaga! 3 pa man din lang kaming pharmacists. But we were able to do it. I was also surprised at myself and at this girl I so hate at work.

It's ironic to think that the people I hate at work (except for... and ...) are the people I choose to confide in. Ano ba yan?!

Last Night:

I tried to listen to God. And He spoke with me. It was nice listening to Him. I slept at around 1 am and woke up to a dream about the short circuit/flame in our workplace where I had to keep the narcotics Haha pati sa panaginip--praning! Pati sa panaginip work pa rin. Langya talaga!


I will go to work. I'm expecting it to be a nother very busy day. I'm trying to move on. It's really hard.


My first of my three-day off. I will go back home to rest and try to spend more time with my Mom. I am also planning to visit Mt. Carmel. It's my favorite church.

Next Year:

I will have an idea on where I will really go. I will be taking a major pharmacy exam. I'm not sure if Mark and I will still be us. But life is unsure.

5-10 Years From Now:

I would have been married to a guy who loves me and whom I also love (sana nga si Mark na yun...) We would have had kids by then. We would be living outside the Philippines (hopefully Australia).

And now I'm tagging LHEI, TIN, RUSS, SANGI, and NAOMI.

Kick me to move

People are people
I am the one
who believes in all that you say
I am the one who never wants to define herself
I am the one who's paralell, upfront, behind
I am the one
paddling like crazy through the night
Refine, old time, colourblind
Big sign, do time, doesn't rhyme
A lot, to much, standing tall
And I’m crying in the valley:
"I shall never, ever fall!"
People are people
and I feel so strong
People are people and I'm
going on
I am the one
who stirs it up everytime
I am the one who never knows how
close she is
I am the one who'd rather be dead than confess
I am the onetrying to be good,
wanting to be bad and so on
Excess, temptress, big mess
Phoney, lonely, it's a test
Be still my heart, don't you fail
And I'm crying on the stagefloor:
"I will always prevail!"
I'm going on…

Trying to push myself up...just so I can move on. Later...

Because I'm A Girl

My title has nothing to do with my entry, but it has something to do with my feelings. Read betweent he "words". Hehe...

The whole July has been very eventful for me and my family. Another month that is full of memories to be cherished by the Titular clan.

09 July

Zoe was christened. I wasn't able to come. But I heard that it has been successful. People from Sapac went there, too.

15 or 16 July

My cousins and I went out. We went bowling and bumping cars. I've written about these before.

22 July

Kristel, Osang, John-John, Athan, Ardee, and I went to Twenty-Eight Four Bar in Lipa. It was my first time to be in a bar (70's Bistro doesn't count because it was required by my subject in college). I ordered iced tea but they forced me to drink an alcoholic drink, which I cannot remember anymore. Pinagbigyan ko sila pero since masakit ang tyan ko, di ko naubos yun.

23 July

We went to Los Banos for a family reunion/swimming. But I had to go to work so I followed them na lang the next day. And maraming nangyari sa swimming. Family dramas. Ako nakibalita na lang. It is always nice to just be an audience in a drama.

That night, Leng, Moneth, and I planned for a party. A surprise party for the Mirandas. We planned for a party to show our appreciation and as a thank-you gift for their kindness and for all the gimmicks and treats. It was only around this time that we were able to have some resources to implement such plan. Dati kase, mga students pa lang kami--no resources and busy with school.

30 July

The date of the surprised party. Everybody was excited and game about it. I came from a night shift and I forced myself to wake up after 2 hours of sleep just to go to Lipa. I went to our store and ate lunch. Then I went to our compound and organized the decoration, music, etc. Although everyone knew what they should do, I guess they needed someone like me na panoxic at mataray para masimulan na talaga ang decoration. At first kase medyo tinatamad pa ang mga tao but after my kaparanoidan ayun naging okay na ang lahat.

Natuwa ako kase sa pagkakabit ng christmas lights and tulda, maraming mga tao ang tumulong and most of them aren't even our relatives. Okay talaga kapag may kapitbahay kang maaasahan. Umuulan nung nilagay namin ang mga tulda pero that didn't stop us from putting it up. Kailangang matuloy ang party.

Sa food naman walang naging problema kase yung mga oldies na yung nag-asikaso sa resources. Manpower sina Daisy and Winnie and sina Lover Boy. Sina Ate Carmi and "family" rin nagluluto sa loob ng bahay nila ng pampulutan.

Nang matapos na ang paglalagay ng tulda, lights, at music, decoration na lang ang kulang. Pero sina Jeng na ang nag-ayos kase sumama ako kay Kuya Dadoy na sumundo kina Paul, John-John, Kuya Ronal, Ate Mylene, Mimi, Zoe, at Osang sa Rob. Ibinaba namin sila sa mga Nanay Metring. Sina Ate Cora, and the rest, di talaga pinapaalis sina Paul at John sa mga Nanay kase baka makapunta sila kina Ate Goyee eh mabibisto nila ang surpresa namin.

Mga 7 ng gabi na yata ng nagstart yung party. The plan was Ate Cora would bring Paul and John sa venue--kina Ate Goyee. Nakapatay ang ilaw, tahimik lahat. At nang andun na sila biglang bubuksan ang ilaw at sisigaw ng SURPRISE!!! Sa tingin ko naman nasurprise sina Paul at John.

Nagstart ang program sa prayer ni Osang. Pinaghandaan ng utol ko yung dasal. Then sumunod ang sayaw ng mga batang babae at lalaki. Choopeta at Chocolate ang mga sinayaw naming lahat. Taghirap sa CDs eh. One week lang naman kase ang preparation namin. I found it hard to dance. I was breathless nga eh. I think I looked like a dork pero okay lang. Masaya ako that night knowing na everything was going okay. Sumunod na sumayaw ang mga lalaki. Totoy Bibo sinayaw nila. After that may games. Balloon race with Otso-Otso. Pagkatapos nun, kumanta si Mary Rose ng "Babae po ako" by Tuesday. Nagulat ang Mommy sa ginawa ni Osang. Bigay todo naka-drugs yata yun. Natuwa at nagalak naman ang mga tao sa napanood nila. Si Nica nga kinakanta na yung kanta ni Osang nung umaga pati buhok gusto ng ipagaya--Jolina syndrome na yan!

After that may mga games ulit. Then may surprise ulit kina Paul at John. Piniringan sila. Then biglang tumugtog yung pang-beerhouse na tugtog. Then may sumayaw-sayaw sa harapan nila. Hinihimas ang mga katawan nila--parang sa pelikula--pero bakla yung gumagawa nun. Trip lang. Nang tanggalin ang piring, may magandang babae na sa harapan nila na kinantahan sila. Si Rochelle yata yung girl. Di na namin pinakilala yung sumayaw sa kanila. But they learned later on kung sino yun.

After that sumayaw ang The Gwapings. Magaling palang sumayaw si Ryan. Pwedeng pang-contest. Another discovery na naman.

May You Mean Everything To Me singing contest. Pataasan ng score sa videoke. Anniversary kase nina Ate Tinay at Kuya Carling. Ang nanalo sina Carlo dahil sa tinis ng boses ni Carlo.

After ng pa-raffle. Kumanta kaming mga kabataan ng "Salamat" by the Dawn. Then si Kuya Dennis nagsalita. Pinuri ang mga kabataan for the success of the party. Then siya rin naginitiate ng sayawan. Okay enjoy pero pagod na ako at puyat kaya after and hour or so natulog na ako.

24 July

May konting drama at aksyon na nangyari nung bandang hapon but it did not get in the way sa lakad naming mga kabataan. Pumunta kami sa Rob Lipa para sana magpapic pero sarado na sila agad so pagkakain namin sa Pizza Hut--kami nina Paul, John-John, Athan, Ardee, Andrew, Francis, Manny, Ryan, Leng, Jeng, Osang, Baby Liza, Moneth, Aicel, at ako, pumunta kami sa The Library Lipa.


I am sick. But I need to go to work. I have no voice--I have but it sounds like a frog's. My co-workers laugh whenever they hear me speaking.


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