LATS means Thyrotropic Hormone, Long-Acting Thyroid Stimulator.
FSH means Follicle-Stimulating Hormone.
LH means Luteinizing Hormone.
HCG means Human Chorionic Gonadotropin.
HMG means Human Menopausal Gonadotropin.

I should have known these. Now I would have to face the fact that I would flunk that Drug Info Test again. Oh well, I'm still pasaway.

I hate Spongebob because he's stupid, and I hate his sidekick Patrick more. But I heard him say something that struck me.

"No Patrick, they're laughing next to us!"

Maybe I should be like Songebob sometimes, to stop thinking of what others would say. To sometimes think what will make me happy. To choose what to listen and what not to listen to.Hmmm...I would surely watch Spongebob Squarepants the Movie.

Things I've Learned Last Night

The sun was already out when I got home yesterday. And whenever I got home, I would narrate to my mother all of the events that happened to me in Manila. It was the usual narration of events but somehow it seemed like God has been trying to tell me something. I was slowly understanding things in my life like:

Di masamang makinig sa payo ng magulang. Mom told me the story of my cousin and how he would beat up his wife. His wife used to be hard-headed that she didn't listen to her parents advice. She still chose to live with my cousin. Now she was suffering a lot, with her family disowning her, and a lot of other problems.

Cursing and disowning your offspring is bad. Because cursing works. You may be successful in inflicting pain on your offspring but still he/she is still you son/daughter. Would you really be happy seeing them suffer?

Love yourself. If you cannot love yourself, who (except for God) would love you?

Try to share your light with others. Light is meant to be seen. Just like talents and abilities. I'm having problems with these because (and according to Mark) I am cowardly slow.

Golden Rule is still true nowadays. Do unto others what you want others to do to you. So if you want others to be kind to you, be kind. If you want others to respect you, respect them.

So maybe, my decision is not bad at all.

Things To Do This Summer

I can't deny that summer is already here. For the first time in my life, I appreciated every full-blast airconditioner units. Though March is eventful, I have to admit that March for me is not fun. But then, there's still April, I still have the chance, right?

Here are the things I would like to do this summer:

Go to the beach
Lose weight
Buy a weighing scale
Eat more fruits and vegetables
Drink more water
Give direction in my life...one direction at a time
Meet up with old friends
Watch movies
Watch Full House and Save the Last Dance for Me
Smile more
Be nice
Be kind
Avoid being pasaway kahit minsan lang
Ride a bike
Go to church...attend the mass
Read more books
Review old notes
Familiarize with the latest trend in pharmacy
Fix my appearance


Minsan tinatanong ko sa sarili ko, sa mga dinami-dami ng mga bagay na humihila sa akin sa iba't ibang desisyon, sasaya pa ba kaya ako? Maiiyak ako pero pipigilin ko, takot na baka makita ako ng iba at magtaka sila.

Minsan naman sa pag-iisip ko bigla ko na lang maitatanong kung asan na ako at kung ano na ang dapat kong gawin? Kailangan bang ipagpatuloy ang plano, o gumawa ng paraan para mabago ang takbo ng mga pangyayari. Pero masasabi ko na lang na mas makakabuti kung ipagpatuloy ko ang plano ko. Na kung dati ang sagot ko ay tila di na yata ako sasaya, masasabi ko na lang na may pag-asa pa pala. Na okay lang. Na kaya ko. At kung titingnan ko kung bakit ganun na ang pakiramdam ko, iyon ay hindi dahil sa natutunan ko na siyang kalimutan at hindi mahalin, kung di natutunan niya akong mahalin at tanggapin kahit na sinasaktan ko siya.

Masuwerte ako dahil mahal pa rin niya ako. Tunay ngang mahiwaga ang pag-ibig.

Movie Addict is Back!

Miss Congeniality 2 is okay but I haven't watched part one so I have no right to compare them. It's a funny movie so for those who want to laugh, go watch it!


Dalawang lugar ang madalas kong uwian, isa sa boarding house at ang isa pa ay sa bahay namin sa probinsya. Pero kahit na dalwa ang inuuwian ko, isa lang ang tsinelas ko.

Ang tsinelas ko, mura lang siya pero hindi pa rin siya sira hanggang ngayon. Nasa boarding house lang siya kaya kapag umuuwi ako sa probinsya, nanghihiram lang ako sa kapatid at nanay ko. Kung tutuusin, mura lang ang tsinelas pero di ko makuhang bumili, hindi dahil sa attached ako sa tsinelas ko ngayon, kundi, wala lang, wala pa siguro ako sa mood at di ko naman kase nakikitang kelangan ko ng bumili ng isa pa.

Ngayon, bakit temang tsinelas ang blog ko? Inihahalintulad kase ang tsinelas sa tahanan. Palagi tayong lumlabas ng bahay pero sa bandang huli bumabalik pa rin tayo sa tahanan natin. Palagi tayong nagsusuot ng iba't ibang sapatos pero sa bandang huli, nagtsitsinelas pa rin tayo pag-uwi natin. Kagaya rin ng sa pag-ibig, marami tayong makikilalang tao pero dun pa rin tayo pupunta sa mahal natin na nararamdaman natin na at home tayo sa kanila.

Sino ang "tsinelas" ko? Masasabi kong si Mark na iyon. Para sa kanya ang blog na ito. Para kahit magkalayo kami at di ko magawang sumulat at maghulog ng sulat sa kanya araw-araw, dito pwede niyang balik-balikan ang mga kwento ko, yun nga lang sinala na ang mga kwento ko dito. Pero may mababasa pa rin siya sa pinakamatino kong paraan. Hanggang sa makasulat at matanggap niya ang mga personal kong liham sa kanya. Hanggang sa magkasama na ulit kami para ako na mismo ang magkukuwento sa kanya. Hanggang sa marinig na niya ulit ang boses ko at makita ang reaksyon niya habang nagkukuwento ako sa kanya.

Isa pang tsinelas ko ang sarili ko. Sarili ko kasama si God. Corny pero sa pagdaan ng panahon, natutunan kong tanggapin ang katayuan ko ngayon. Madalas hindi ko gusto ang ugali ko dahil sa mga pagkakamali at minsanang pagkakatama ko, pero naniniwala akong mas mabuti ako ngayon kesa kahapon dahil natututo ako sa bawat araw na dumadaan. Na kahit mag-isa ako palagi at malayo sa totoo kong bahay sa probinsya, nakakayanan ko kase meron akong tahanan sa sarili ko.

How to Deal With Me

I checked my email and found a letter from my aunt in oz...she is a bit fed up with me failing to respond to her. As much as possible, I respond to people who is in need of my attention for just about anything. But oftentimes, I'm absorbed in my own world that I am unaware of others thus, ignoring them in the process. I am mean sometimes. I'm sorry.
But I'm back. I know what I want now. And I am made aware again that I can't be sure of anything in this world except for God's love, and so I think I will be able to do what I have to do.
Thing is, it seems like I don't want any free rides. I want to do it the hard way...I believe that I am a self-made woman, at least, that's where I think I am going. I will be successful but I have to work hard for it, I have to earn it. I've been doing that all my life. That has been my nature. I want to ask for apology to everyone I've hurt in the process. I forgot how to deal with me eh. Life sometimes is hard but then there is only one way to go through it...at least one valid way...that's to live my life.
With that, can anyone help me find a cheap (soft-bound photocopied) IELTS Reviewer?


The sun really scorches my skin. It's really summer. I am glad. I don't mind the heat. I don't mind not being able to sleep in the afternoon. Summer is here and I know I'm gonna be fine.

New Motto

Your life is meant to live by you, so LIVE IT!


Too old to be selfish
Too young for marriage
I am trapped.
What will be me?

Where's my Holy Week

Holy Week has come and gone. My usual Holy Week was disrupted this year. I wonder what's gonna be the payment for that.
We at work decided to speak in English as much as possible. Trip lang!

Own World

There I was, sunkenly sitting alone in Mom's chair, waiting for customers to buy and pay for curtains and other textiles. I felt so alone. It seemed as if everyone was ignoring me. Then I've heard the song This Side by Nickel Creek followed by Stigmatized by I forot the name of trhe artist...then wala na, I'm in my own world again.
Si Jasming bangag na naman ako.
I really don't care. Kase I'm already in my own world, taking a journey to my own memories...memories of my not so recent past. Nope, not in the buildings near Taft Avenue, but rather in the areas along EDSA.
Those were the tough times but what the heck--I'm at peace and I could say I'm happy.
It's such a miracle that I'm filled with peace whenever I think about it. Hehe...but try to disturb me in my own world and you'll be shocked with my temper. So better back off!

Holy Week

We were in our usual routine. Everyone was busy with work stuff but we were also able to talk. Talk about anything, from the x-rated stuff to general patronage. That time one of us stated something about Holy Week and how God is dead on Good Friday. One of us commented that it's the devil's work in saying that God is dead on Good Friday and that whoever invented that (I'm not sure if she was talking about the wholeLenten Season but if she does...now what?!) is devil's advocate. Calling all Roman Catholics and Christians what can you say about these?
I would like to butt in their conversation but then it would be best if I just kept my mouth shut and that was exactly what I did.

The problem with human beings is that we tend to attack anyone/anything if we can't understand him/her/it. So that comment against the Lenten Season by my co-worker was the natural reacyion of ignorance. So for those non-Catholics this is the idea. Lenten Season is the season when we remember how Jesus (Diyos Anak) sacrificed His life for our salvation. The only way to be saved is to accept God (the Holy Trinity) in our lives. It is hard to explain how the Holy Trinity is possible, it's God's work and He is God so it is possible. The Holy Trinity is composed of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And they are just one God.

The world is in chaos and God the Father thinks the world needed someone to save the people. People won't understand God just as an ant won't understand human. And so God decided to send His Only Begotten Son to save the people by becoming human himself. He saved mankind though the way of the cross. Jesus (God the Son) must die on the cross to show humans that in this life, pain is present. But we shouldn't worry because Jesus was able to resurrect and this showed that humans can also conquer death. Death means the literal death and the death of sin.
God is not dead on Good Friday. Duh! We are just remembering how God died for us in order to save us all, and how He resurrected signifying salvation.

This Holy Week, let us stop for a while and think about God. Let us remember how He loves us and that He really loves us so much.

Have a Blessed Holy Week everyone!



Love always wins. Love is the only rational act. I've read this from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
I've been thinking about Mark. Actually, walang dumaan na araw na wala siya sa isip ko. And masasabi ko sa sarili ko na I' faithful sa kanya. I hope ganun din siya. Long distance relationship is really hard pero it depends on the persons involved. Sabi nila it won't work pero I've long made up my mind that Mark is the one I'm gonna marry. Even though it's me and him against the world.
And love...I'm glad it's Mark that I am loving.


Ako ay batang pasaway. Heto ako sa probinsya namin. May exam at meeting ako sa work pero hindi ako aattend. Bakit? Kase po mas gusto kong i-spend ang ilang araw na off ko sa piling ng pamilya ko kesa mapagalitan lang ng boss ko. Pasaway nga eh.
Na-late ako nung isang araw. Ewan ko kung bakit pero hindi ako nagising sa alarm ng cellphone ko at ng magising ako 7 am na eh 7 am ang pasok ko.

Drama Queen

I'm a twenty-something drama queen.
I tend to be dramatic whenever some trials whether big or small came to my life. My friends are right in saying that I'm really ma-drama sa buhay. Sometimes, I'm up to the point na I exaggerate the events in my life. I guess, telenovelas/pocketbooks have influenced me in some way. But then my life is really full of trials and triumphs, just like the stories in telenovelas/movies/pocketbooks. After all, most of the stories written are based on real life human experiences.
My being dramatic can't be seen with the way I dress. You can't see it also with the way I talk. But deep inside of me is a drmatic actress. Just read my entries and you can get an idea. Most of the time, my friends would just laugh at me or tease me whenever I get dramatic, but then again, I am who I am. I may be dramatic but that is what I perceive to be true.
Last night I was sick. The last time I got sick was when I was still 16. It's been 7 years and it made me think of the past on how I would sleep beside my parents whenever I was sick. But last night I was forced to sleep in my room because I feared that I would get Mom sick also because colds (fever) is contagious. I was chilling that I couldn't sleep. I was even delirious. Kaya ayun. I also got to think about my life and it made me sob. Pero my sobbing made me sleep naman.
I'm okay now.


Ethel, Kaye and I met last night. Ethel and I watched Ro-bots and after that we went to Kaye and bugged her while she was studying for an exam (today...I hope she gets high grades for that!)
We talked about life and our other friends. They have been missing in action. Friends, if you have chanced upon this site, magparamdam naman kayo okay?
And eto isa pa...

Can't Think of a Title

A song from Matchbox Twenty entitled Bright Lights (or is it Light?)...This song spoke (for me) about this guy I love but then I'm sometimes too stubborn that I get to hurt him in the process. And I'm often wondering what I would feel or do when he finally said enough.
...Well, some things in this world you just can’t change
Some things you can’t see until it gets too late
Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home
I got a hole in me now
I got a scar
I can talk about
[Yes, I'm talking to you!]
She keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city
But some things in this world
Man, they don’t make sense
[Yeah, sometimes!]
Some things you don’t leave until they leave you
And then the things that you miss, you say
Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all
I’m up against out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home
Let that city take you in (come on home)
Let that city spit you out (come on home)
Let that city take you down, yeah
For God sakes turn around
[Please love me still because I will always be loving you!]
Come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Come on home
I hope he will always be around to love me.
One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean.
Take her of leave her she will still be the same.
[I am unique.]
She'll not try to buy you with her time.
But nothing's the same, as you will see when she's gone.
It's foreign on this side,
And I'll not leave my home again.
There's no place to hide
And I'm nothing but scared.
You dream of colors that have never been made,
You imagine songs that have never been played.
They will try to buy you and your mind.
Only the curious have something to find.
[Never fall as prey!]
It's foreign on this side,
And the truth is a bitter friend.
But reasons few have I to go back again.
[The world is harsh but it's up to anyone what she's gonna do about it.]
Your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day.
Entrance is crucial and it's not without pain.
[It is hard to adjust.]
There's no path to follow, once you're here.
You'll climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs.
[Once you're in love, you are in love!]
It's foreign on this side,
But it feels like I'm home again.
There's no place to hide
But I don't think I'm scared.(there's no place to hide)
(there's no place to hide)
But I don't think I'm scared.(there's no place to hide)
But I don't think I'm scared...
[I should never be scared to live this life, after all this is what life is all about.]


I feel like I'm the female version of Hitch. Matchmaker, Dr. Date Girl. I was fond of spotting potentials for others. But unlike Hitch, I have been opened to the idea of love and I have been loving this same person for couple of years now that I've made up my mind that he's the guy I am going to marry. Wala lang.
Kanina, one of my co-pharmacist informed me about the stuff one cash clerk wrote about. It was written on Sir T's mini information book since he's gonna leave us pretty soon. He'll be going somewhere in the Carribbean. That cash clerk used that as an opportunity to make jokes. I don't really mind. Actually, of all the pambabara I got today, that was the only one that made me laugh. He wrote that I was his favorite actress (ginawa niya kaseng slum book yung notebook ni Sir T) kase whether I am sad or angry or happy, I still had the same tone of voice (monotonous) and facial expression. That's true! And syempre he also mentioned my weird scrub suit! I'm weird...so?
I have to be patient. I owe that to my family and to Mark.
Kagabi pinalungkot ko ang Mommy ng sinabi ko sa kanya na mag-reresign na ako sa trabaho. Anong gagawin ko?
Paggising ko kanina, wala na akong kasama sa bahay. Pumasok na sa school ang mga kapatid ko at ang Mommy ay pumuntang tindahan na.
Masama ba ako?
O mas masama ang mundo?

Grade One

I still remember my feelings that time I went to school. It was like I was being put into prison--the end of my freedom and thus happiness...My Mom forced me to study the alphabet, to write my name, to read. I was forced naman because that was what everybody was doing that time. All my playmates/cousins were already in school. I didn't want to be left behind so I had no choice but to join the herd.
But I hated school because I didn't know how to make friends. Plus, I didn't understand the lessons. My Kindergarten teacher was even telling my Mom that if it wasn't for my good behaviour then she would flunk me. Off I went to Grade One, with the same teacher...I still didn't know how to read or write. Everything didn't make sense. I resigned to the thought that I was bobo who always got Needs Improvement in my writing class. Until one day...
Our helper Ate Vicky and my cousin Ate Daisy were trying to discuss with me school. I was telling them about my assignment, the poem that Maam Espiritu was asking us to memorize. I was really already nervous then because I didn't know how to read I was pretty sure I would flunk that assignment. Ate Vicky started reading what I wrote--the copy of that poem. She was struggling to read it. Struggling because she couldn't read my very unreadable penmanship. I was kinda losing patience because she couldnt read my handwriting and so I took my notes away from her. That time I kinda memorized the poem because of the constant recitation Maam Espiritu was doing to make us easily memorize the poem. I was actually relying on Maam's recitation for me to memorize the poem without reading. Then it suddenly hit me...suddenly the words I have written made sense. I suddenly could associate these alphabets to a word. Suddenly I know how to read words and not just the a-ba-ka-da or ta-ma, ba-ta. From then on everything started to make sense. I didn't realize that I was getting smarter. I was acing school already. One time I just discovered that I was on the list of achievers in class. Inspired by that, I studied and studied on the way to the top.
Then why?
Why can't I be that kid anymore? The kid who is acing whatever she's doing. I feel like I was the same helpless kid whou would start going to school. Actually, maybe it is in me. Ever since I started going to school. I would cry secretly whenever thoughts of the future lessons and how I won't understand them that Maam Espiritu would give me a whip occured to me. I was that afraid of the world.
This is not me. I am not myself lately.
Pressure. Everyone is pressuring me to do something for them. I know the answer naman eh...that I should do something for me first. That it's my decision. Pero it's still hard.
If I can do it my way, I would just teach here in the Philippines. I wouldn't leave the country. It doesn't matter if the country is slowly drowning into hopeless poverty. This is where I am happy minus those people I hate...hehe...but I am happy here.
My second choice would be going to Dubai with Mark. I know going there would put me in a great temptation to get married early. But then it depends on every person. I feel that I would excel there whether I'll be a pharmacist there or not, I will excel because I will be happy there.
Can I make them understand?
Last night I was watching Hiram and the line uttered by the lady who adopted Margaret for a while struck me. It was like "sa bawat desisyon mayroong masasaktan...hindi mo pagsisisihan kung nagbigay ka sa kapwa mo, malinis yun, taos sa puso, pero ang mga bagay na makakapagpasisi sa iyo ay ang mga bagay na hindi mo ginawa para sa sarili mo..."
In whatever decision I will make, I am bound to hurt others, intentionally or not. But I do not want to regret anything. It's just that I know I won't be happy in countries where majority of people are Caucasians. No offense meant, it's just that people there would always consider my race to be second class citizen. I would like to go to US but if it isn't US, I'd rather work in Asia, anywhere in Asia. Call me patriotic that's okay because that's a bit true.
What about the opportunities? I don't know. But will it make me happy?
Wherever I'll go, whether I get out of the country or not, I would still go back here in my country. Even if I get hurt or not. For now this is what will make me happy. For now this is the right thing to do.
Will they understand?


Ethel and I met up at Mega Mall this lunch. I haven't seen her for months now that was why I really made an effort to wake up earlier than I would to meet her. We talked about me. I told her about the pains in my life. She's into watching cartoon movies.
Going to Mega Mall brought a lot of memories. Memories of my past work. How I loved to walk Mega Mall, from Mega B to Mega A then back again to Mega B. The jam packed MRT. Crossing Shaw Blvd. Walking, walking, walking. Passing by the tiangge where every stall seemed to love "Sasakyan Kita" by Gladys and the Boxers. Riding a tricycle. Going to my former boarding house, where my former landlady refused to give me my balance. She's really gahaman when it comes to money. Walking the streets of Boni Avenue to go here in this cafe where I used to check my emails. Here, where I signed up for Blogger.
I have walked the path of my not so distant past. But I never visited Euro-Med. The only reason is because I'm too tired and thirsty to walk. Besides, I have to go home in the province. And I do not want to arrive there late at night.
To think I have been complaining endlessly about the bad system of my former company, it seems funny, because now that I'm free of that system, I'm still complaining, this time about my current company's system. But if I were to choose, I'd rather be in Euro-Med than be here in my current company.
Disappointment wear people down.
Good thing I've talked with Ethel, she's practical and level-headed when it comes to career attitude. I will try to change my attitude.
I am so into Nina the singer nowadays. I love the songs she sang on the radio. All revival of good songs. I also like the song of J. Lo (...ehehe...ako ba yan?) "Get Right".
If you want to have a good mood, listen to lively, positive music.


Jollibee has a new gimmick, and I meant that positively. It's an online community especially for the youth and young at heart--Hive. It's a bit like friendster but it's composed of barkadas/entertainment/music/poetry. Check it out!


I'm looking thoroughly at my life. And I'm convinced that I have to make my own decision. This is the only way to have my peace back again.
I've walked my walk and I've found that life is entrusted to us by God. And don't you find it an honor...a really great honor to be entrusted such a life. Others may not trust you, but God trusts you. I think it's just right to trust in GOD also.
My wishes and prayer for everyone:
That we can see how beautiful and meaningful life is...no matter how difficult we're going through right now.
That we can share the light given to us by God
To stop chasing for other gods
To realize that there is always a reason to SMILE
Truly trust and believe in God

Not Interested

Someone's afraid of me. Duh. Whoever you are, I am not interested at all!


I am forced to take the path to maturity. I carry with me two books. The Bible and Dad's book. So far here are some points I've read on Dad's book.
1. Do not criticize.
2. Do not condemn.
3. Smile.
4. Remember people's name.
These tips are sensible. But I have to admit, I am not yet successful in applying these in my life.
Teka lang, kahapon sa work, napag-usapan na naman ang tungkol sa aking work journal. One time, I accidentally left it sa area namin. Sir Ton and Sir Luis found it...si Sir Ton binasa niya. It was embarrassing because I have some poems and personal entries there. Nalaman niya tuloy kung paano ako mag-isip...so we talked about that again yesterday. Sir Ton suggested that I join the editorial staff of our department...ano ulit? EDITORIAL STAFF? Duh! Ano namang alam ko sa matinong pagsusulat? But it made me think of serving the department...if it's right to serve it at all. Basta, I came to work with another mission, believe it or not, I want to serve my countrymen. That's one thing UP instilled in me, although syempre I also have plans to go abroad. Pero hanggat andito ako sa Pinas, tumulong ka kung makakaya mo. Yun nga lang, di yata alam yun ng iba.
Naisip ko rin tuloy ang pagtulong sa magulang ko. From now on, I would help out in our store. Magpapakatino na ako. I would face my responsibilities as the eldest. Ooohh...face...may bago sa akin ngayon...bago na ang kulay ng hairband ko...pink na siya...ang liit nga raw ng buhok ko sa hairband ko eh...maliit...eto pa...maliit din daw uniform ko...Ms. Body Fit...eh gusto ko ng fit eh. Mas mukha tuloy akong bata. Napapagkamalan kase akong may anak na kapag suot ko ang isa kong scrub suit eh. Di bale sana kung totoo, eh hindi naman eh.
Anak...ewan kung magkakaroon pa ako nito. May problem ako sa lovelife ko eh. Pero God loves me naman eh. He knows what or who is best for me.


Matthew 6:19-21
Don't store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them. Your heart will always be where your treasure is.
That's what Dad had been telling us when he was still alive. Mas mahalaga ang kayamanan sa langit kesa lupa. I should keep that in mind.

Building Back Myself

So my senior isn't satisfied with my performance, that doesn't mean that I am not a good pharmacist. My co-workers hate me for being strict (they would often comment..."alam mo naman ang kaartehan of the people out there...") but I'm just following the rules. So I'm finding out that there are lesser and lesser people in my work to trust, that doesn't mean that nobody in this world can be trusted.
I'm thinking so much of what happened. I compared myself to the past and I'm not that bad when it comes to work. I guess because people in my past work were nicer in a way that they won't really offend you or put you down. They can be brutally frank but it is just for your own good...no threat...tulungan. Kaya siguro kahit mababa ang pasweldo and tsismis is really great...okay pa rin ang feeling to work there.
I can't please everybody. Pero I can please myself.
Look at my picture...that was taken almost a year ago by my friend Labsie. My smile was that sincere then...because although I was so worried about my family I was happy. I may not have lots of friends then but the people I was mingling with are true.
Talk about maturity, people in my past company are more mature compare to the people I'm with now.
I may have lots of weaknesses...but then one could have said it in a different way. If it's criticism you'll give, it's hostility/aloofness you'll get.
They may think I suck BIG TIME! But I believe otherwise! I am one of the best...maybe better than them.


I watched the news last night about the Mabini, Bohol poisoning...30 elementary students died aftereating cassava...Manihot esculenta...the doctor interviewed was not sure of the exact reason why they died...the mayor didn't know also...but the victims' families were already weeping in agony.
Cassava, as I have learned in Pharmacognosy, is composed of cyanogenic glucosides...and upon hydrolysis (reaction with H2O), it will yield a ketone, an aldehyde, a sugar, and the toxic cyanide ion. Toxicity of cyanogenic glucoside is due to the liberastion of hydrogen cyanide for the major food sources such as cassava or kamoteng kahoy...The presence of cyanogens protect them from herbivores. Linamarin is the predominant cyanogenic glucoside in cassava.
Cyanide poisoning ang mangyayari kapag kumain ka ng cassava na hindi ayos ang pagkakaluto...meron kase siyang effect sa enzyme system ng body na pwedeng mag-cause ng pagkawala ng oxygen sa cell thus nasisira yung cell...imagine mong walang oxygen ang katawan mo...eh di patay ka. Kaya if you're planning to eat kamoteng kahoy na nilaga...one should chopped the tuber then wash it with water...coming from the faucet...basta dapat running water siya. This can remove the toxic substances in cassava. Siguro the lady who cooked the cassava didn't wash well the cassava and therefore poisoning for her customers...eh bata pa naman ang mga yun.


I'm feeling so low today. I had a talk with my senior and she told me that she wasn't satisfied with my performance. I agree. But I'm not satisfied with the whole system either.
Here are the areas I should try to improve:
confidence told her I was afraid to make decisions because I am not familiar with the SOPs...lame excuse but it's the truth
initiativeness Mark has been telling me to be initiative...I guess I don't have the drive...guess, Chief RPh was right in telling me that I don't have the drive...duh...I don't have a car...double duh!
being disorganized to put it bluntly...being a slob! That I don't know if they can see the improvement.
Actually, I can very well improve these three areas but the fourth area...I'm not sure...
being slow...really, I tried my best to be fast enough but they think it's not enough...then fire me! At least, I'll have an excuse to get away from that place!
Good thing is...now I have an excuse to show the meaner side of me. Beware world!


I am having second thoughts if I would still join the outing in Pangasinan. But if making and meeting new friends are two of my agendas then I should go for it right? And besides, I want to go to Pangasinan. But a part of me wants to go home and just spend the day watching shows in Nickelodeon. I am addicted to it!


Almost all tricycle drivers in my hometown have deep loathing for me, and the feeling is mutual. I have never encountered a driver who is kind enough to ask for the just fare. Kaya whenver I'm alone I would rather walk than let these stupid drivers drove away with my money.
This morning, I rode a tricycle with an old man. We were both going to the market. The driver decided to take a route different from the usual. The route he took would take me farther from the place I was supposed to go. I hated the tricycle driver that I had the urge to nag at him. However, my head was already aching that time so I decided to just keep to myself. Then the old man asked the driver to stop bevcause he would get down. The old man only paid P5 instead of P7. I laughed (quietly) because the driver could do nothing about it. Karma is fast.
Talk about karma, my brother read my text messages.


Yesterday, after sleeping for 4 hours, I went to NBI Carriedo to renew my clearance. I need this for some requirement. I thought I would never be able to finish getting a clearance in a day, but I was surprised because in 30 minutes I had my renewed clearance. Wala lang...isa itong himala!
posted by jassy at 3:41 PM link
Yesterday was the international women's day. Violence against women was tackled and given attention.
I am a woman and I should know this violations against my gender. I should know these things for I am also not free from these things. And honestly, I've been a victim not just once but I think lots of times. My experiences were not as tragic as the others but they are still violence done against me.
All women should also know these things.

Student Days

I am here in Espana...I had to buy my Mom her medicines. Going here made me reminisce the past...my student days.
I used to live in Espana, along with the other students of the University Belt. And it has been the happiest days of my student life. I remember I'm such an internet addict already. I would scout the streets along Espana, looking for internet cafes with cheap prices. I also love the food...they're already yummy and less expensive. The rental fee of beds (I'm a bedspacer) were not that expensive. I used to save a lot that time. I was able to buy clothes and other accessories.
I also love my roommates. They were understanding enough to the needs of the students.
And I'm also very much into journal writing that time...online journal was not yet known. I still didn't have a mobile phone then. But I was happy. Really happy.

Blessings and Hardwork

Looking through the different lives of the people made me think so much of my own. Am I less blessed or am I luckier than others? In several months that I've been reading other people's thoughts (through blogging), I discovered that I shouldn't compare my life with anyone. I am unique and so are the others. But it also made me think of the things/people that I have and where did they come from.
I have been blessed but oftentimes most of the good (and sometimes bad) things in my life are the fruits of my hardwork. I have always worked hard to achieve some of the things that I want.
Allow me to enumerate the blessings in my life:
my loving family...We aren't perfect. We made few mistakes more often than not, but I love them and they love me.
most of my friends...Melanie, Kleng, Ethel, Kaye, Labsie among others...I am just glad I still have friends left...kase I'm such a difficult person. Most of the people I have been with do not get my complexities. I'm a difficult person. Period. And I think it's really a blessing (or should I say luck?) that these people are still around...still my friends.
Mark. I am a difficult person. I don't know how he managed to still love me...Maybe because he's also a difficult person.
And these are the fruits of my hardwork:
my job...my former and my current job...If I didn't make an effort to go to work then most probably I wouldn't be able to survive my jobs. I may not be happy and satisfied but I am grateful.
going places... and I mean trying to find a greener pasture...most probably not here in the country. It's not just some luck...I have to work hard. But with God's blessings...it will eventually happen.


I am a pharmacist but I need doctors' or med students' help in finding the right anti-asthma drugs suitable for a pregnant women. My cousin-in-law was asking me about that.


Erwin. I made him an example to K and S when we were telling them how it was like to be married...the responsibilities. After K and S with their parents left, I decided to take a bath and visit my Nanay Metring. On the way there, I saw Erwin playing basketball. He seemed small and thin...it has been years since we had a conversation. Marriage took the life out of him...or should I say, his parents and family took the life out of him...he seems to be suffering for the past mistakes he had done. I pity him. If only I could help him and his wife Cecil. Cecil is about to conceive another baby.
Anyway, later that afternoon, we received a news that Erwin accidentally hit a child when he was driving the videoke to the place of their customer (they have the videoke renting business). And that the child needed to be transferred to the hospital I'm working in.
I really felt bad...you know why? Because I had this tendency, I don't know if it's just a coincidence but there are times that I got to think of this person (and I mean out of the blue thoughts) something big (good or bad) happens to that person. Is this some psychic powers? Or am I just being crazy?
The only things I could do is give Kuya Benny (Erwin's father) tips on what to do and how to buy the necessary medical items in our area.
I hope things will be okay.

of love and marriage

Last Thursday, I was having second thoughts if I would go home or not...I was really, really tired that day and all I wanted was to sleep. But I had a day off and I had nothing to do in Manila so I decided to just went home. That way, I'd also be able to avoid having any expense except for the fare.
Kristel once told me that if you were having second thoughts then chances are, something bad would happen. That was why I prepared myself for something bad...
Inside the bus, I was lucky enough to catch Save the Last Dance for Me. After I got off from the bus, I hailed a tricycle, but then the tricycle driver that I asked to drive me home knew me to be kuripot and mean and nagalit talaga siya sa akin when I refused to give him P30.
I watched tv, talked with my family, then they told me that my 2nd degree nephew eloped with his girlfriend...I knew K to do something wild but not like this...he was still so childish and he knew nothing about raising kids or loyal commitment...it made me pity her mother, with all the problemas and obligations she had to face...she doesn't need another heavy baggage. Then suddenly, his lolo, Kuya During, went to us and asked for some favors like calling Jonathan, my brother and asked if K and S were with him. Their cellphones were off. We had to make several phone calls pero we still couldn't reach K and S. Then Ate Emily told us that she along with the girl's parents would be coming over to talk with thier daughter.
Muntikan pang magkagulo because of some wrong interpretation of action pero things were settled naman. Ate Emily brought the girl's parents to our house and we talked...all of us like why they did that and their way of thinking. I really learned a lot form marriage to parenthood to business.
I was nearly awake for 24 hours. But I got really sleepy. I woke up at 10:30 in the morning. Then Ate Auring phoned us to inform that K and S would be coming over.
Then there were some talks. In the end, K and S decided to go home with their parents. They promised to study.
Marriage is not only about love. Though it should be the basis, but then marriage has their own time. K and S should enjoy their youth.


We've meet again...for a while I've thought that you totally abandoned me. But now, herre you are, cradling me in your arms. Trying to bring me comfort...giving me the best defense through all of these...tears.
You're now here with me... Here to teach me to be a little stronger. Maybe I would have to face another set of challenges...and you're sent by God to make me tough...if not some odd relationship where I am free to lash out on you...to mock you...to hate you...to curse you...to feel you...to make me appreciate life...to make me appreciate and love myself...and most of all...to teach me how to respect myself again.
Welcome back...

The Good Things

I don't want to end this blogging day with just the bad things I have thought. So now I'm giving room for the good things:
Some of the cool professors I've had in college:
1) PeeWee Aragon...my History I prof. He's into astrology, karma and stuff...pero when it comes to principle tatay na tatay ang dating. Tipong si Jimmy Santos na long, grey-haired.
2) My Soc Sci II prof...I forgot his name pero long haired din siya and nakakatuwa lang siya kahit minsan di ko magets bakit ganun amoy niya...pero cool talaga siya. He was the reason kung bakit ako nakapasok sa bar for the first and last time so far.
3) Mrs. Lim ng Com I ko. Ang galing niya and she's really, really nice.
Last night, while my co-worker was already resting and I was left to dispense all the items til my reliever come, Oscar (aka Alfred because he looked like Alfred of Ghost Fighter) bought some item in our area. He recognized me and he asked if I was also from his school and if I were the batchmate of Maica. And then he told me na ang bagal daw ng service namin. I hate the truth to be told when it's really obvious, so I just told him that it's hard to dispense faster because I was the only one who was issuing the items. I also added that hopefully it would be faster after the renovation of our area. What's good about that? Wala lang, may nakausap ako na ka-batch and ka-school. Btw, nagmemed na siya sa UP ngayon.
That incident made me remember my past trippings...sa friend niya and kung paano maging secret admirer. Those were the crazy, happy days of my youth.
I have been sad for the past few days and I have no one to talk to but God. I think God really loves me (though sinulat ko na hindi niya ako mahal...drama ko lang iyon...) kase every day of those days, He gave me a reason to smile. Nung una, as I was going to work, there was this lunatic who was singing "spaghetti song" by Sexbomb dancers...she was wearing a spaghetti blouse and a cycling...and she was dancing while singing..."Spaghetti ang handa gusto ng mga bata...pansit, bibingka, puto ang mga handa..." She was really funny, I couldn't help but smile.
Then andyang yung mga kinakain ko laging masarap like sa Jollibee, I could only afford a burgersteak meal pero naging masarap ang kanin niya kaya nabusog naman ako kahit papaano.
I also saw this girl from UP Med na galing ding Public Health, classmate ni Oscar. And nakakainspire lang siya knowing na she's simple pero magaling.
Tapos kahapon na depressed ako because of my love life, God made sure na malambot yung bread ng pizza na inorder ko and nabusog pa rin ako.
For the past few days and actually palagi naman, masarap ang tulog ko sa boarding house namin. Thankful na rin ako.
Also higit sa lahat, andyan ang family ko na mahal ko at saka si Mark kahit na lagi kaming nag-aaway...away lang yun kase namimiss lang namin ang isa't isa. Okay pa rin. Life is beautiful talaga!

I've watched the MTV of this song kanina lang...I nearly cried pero since my bro was around, nakakahiya namang umiyak sa harap niya...

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
I miss my father so much.


I have a new email address. And I love it!
Mark made up for his negligence. But now, I think he's overly mad at me because I am being stubborn again. I am not proud of my stubborness.
You think I'm this bad...oftentimes I am not. These past few days, including today and maybe tomorrow, I'm thinking so much. And when I think so much, I notice a lot...all the bad and good things. And today, bad things fill my head. I just want to get rid of those thoughts and go on with life. I don't want the government to get in my way of enjoying the life God entrusted to me. So no matter what happens, I will be okay.
Today is the burial of my two neighbors who passed away at the same day with just an hour or two away. Both are fathers. The first one is a tailor and the other is a pusher. Believe it or not, I'm sincerely hoping that they're really resting in peace especially the pusher, with all the lives he'd ruined. He needs all the prayer he could get. And today, I'm wearing red. How could I be so insensitive and stupid! Well, I forgot about it.


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