A Part

Sadly though, I realize that I'm still at the denial stage. I just can't believe that we are over. Is is really over between us? and it's harder because I'm the one who calls it quits. Wasn't I supposed to be okay? I know that I have good reasons for my decision but when I think about his love for me and every good thing he has done, my heart crumbles into pieces that I want to run to him and try to make the relationship work.

With this in n mind, this morning, I had a dream about him. I was supposed to get back with him but when we were at my family's former house, he looked at my phone. There was a forwarded message from Cher (yes Cher...), and he suddenly became jealous. Accusing me that Cher was a guy and that I was being unfaithful. He threatened to throw away my phone and I told him to do it, and he did. And my phone was broken into pieces. I cried in anger. He tried to fix my phone but i think he couldn't. I asked him to leave and that I never wanted to see him again.

Jhonna is right. There is guilt knowing that I have hurt him a lot with that decision but I should not think about it or else I will never be happy with the decision I made. And if God allows it to happen, there is a very good reason. Knowing God, His great plan for me will happen no matter what. I just have to follow His will. God's will is my will. Amen.


fjl said...

amen sweetheart and that is the hardest thing to say at times x

aCey said...

ate jassy, *hugs*. :)

Lica said...

I hold on to that thought too, God has a reason for everything. Somehow, it makes me feel better. Take care Jass =)

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