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Call me paranoid. But within the past few months, I've been visited by sickness--diarrhea, body pains, depression. These made me think that I might be dying. I told God that if I were to die I hope it wouldn't be until I was sexy and pretty enough so I could have great pictures to leave my loved ones.

And for the past few months, I am gradually losing weight. I am not taking any diet pills or I am not even exercising. It is natural. I guess the constant pain in my heart does it. But now that I am thinking about it, I now remember that "conversation" with God. What if I am really dying that's why God let me lose weight? Scary!

The truth is I am not ready to die yet. I may be feeling so blue but I still do not want to die. Life is really precious. I am enjoying every minute of it even if it is hard to live at most of the time.
I better stay away from the camera! What do you think?


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