Stand-by

I am okay. Don't worry. And I want to thank everyone who commented just to make me feel better. Thank you so much!

I may still be feeling pain but I am okay. Come to think of it. I love this pain I am feeling right now. I am accepting this as my constant companion, then I won't have to feel alone. I love this pain. I don't want to be "happy" anymore because I find it very hard to adjust back to loneliness. I'd rather be "lonely" for the rest of my life. Basta ba after death, I'll have my reward.

This is the second to the last entry that I'm gonna talk about death. Maybe, this is my way of thinking that sometimes you'd rather be dead than be strengthened.

Don't get me wrong, I won't be committing suicide or anything, it's just that when you're full of pain and it seems that your loved ones do not care, it's better to leave them behind. But I'd rather be the last one to take off because I don't want to cause trouble for them.

Last night, I've had interesting conversations with my co-workers. I am really grateful for their advices. It's funny how I get sympathy from familiar strangers and be mocked by the people whom I assumed to really know me (this doesn't include my family).

My life is still very much painful but I am loving it as I go along my journey.