Still Early

Yes, it's still early because later I will be on a night duty.

This morning I cried out of hurt. Hurt because they never considered informing me. Good thing I asked my friend and she told me the truth. Or else, I will just look like a fool.

People has the tendency to never look back when they are on their way to success. I will never be a fan of the victims of this tendency. They made me mad at the world. Catcher in the Rye (yes, the book) comes to my mind.

I miss Holden Caulfield. I miss him in my nature. Back then I could be like him--angry and selfish. I miss him but I am not regretting what I am now--I am Phoebe Caulfield. His sister. The innocent, understanding girl that Holden tried to protect from the phoniness of this world. Yeah, this makes perfect sense. I need to be angry and selfish so the innocent, and more understanding me will survive and come out. Innocent because I refuse to conform to the call of this ugly society. Understanding--I may not conform but my mind is not narrow.

But right now, I'll be meeting Holden Caulfield. I need him for a while. I need him to protect the Phoebe in me. With that, I'm outta here!


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