About to...

The wedding went well. After work (from a night shift), I have to sleep for a while. Then I went home. I arrived in our place later than expected but I saw my cousins and nagvideoke kami after me eating dinner. I would have wanted to sleep early because I'm still tired from my night duty and I wanted to reflect on what happened that morning. That morning my past called me and tried to hurt me again. He's still really a great accuser! And so I just wanted to reflect on what happened and how significant it's gonna be on my nearing decision. But instead of doing that, my cousins urged me to sleep with them at Ate Tinay's house para bonding kami. That night, the topic was the least that I wanted to talk about. It was about relationships and future plans and I was the only one who doesn't have someone. I'd rather not talk about the past because it isn't gonna help me. So instead of enjoying our bonding, I got depressed. We were able to sleep at 2am. My cousins were already snoring and I was still trying to get my sleep. "Do I always have to be left behind?" That has been my thought while trying to catch some sleep. After about two hours, my Aunt woke us up already. We were forced to get up to prepare for the wedding.

After that dreadful day (with the morning incident and the bonding) my next day didn't go that bad. It actually went well. Why?

• My cousins were trying to cheer me up by giving me compliments. I really appreciated everything they've told me.
• I liked the way I look. Although I do not like the flaws of my skin.
• My cousin Jeng was really stunning on her wedding. Swerte talaga ni Charlie.
• I got touched by what my brother and my cousins commented about the incident with my past. If ever it will happen, I'll give them my full support.
• I got to read during my cousin's wedding--from the First Reading up to the Second Reading. I remembered doing just that when I was still young and living at the base (attending masses every saturday at that same chapel where my cousin was married). I used to be a member of YSC--Young Servant of Christ. As a member we had to read during the mass. If you were already well-trained you got to be a commentator. With that, I have just proven to myself that being a lector is one of the ways that I want to do to serve God. To read for God. Plus, I would be able to attend the mass regularly and get to listen to the Homily. I really should apply to be a lector at our workplace chapel.
• Wedding guests were giving me compliments, compliments that I used to receive before losing my confidence. I'm not being boastful because the truth is there are still lots of areas in my body that needs to be repaired. Wala lang...i just appreciate the compliments. It's not everyday that I receive those kind of complimets from others.
• I got to do what I used to love and I am really knowing who I am. That I love reading passages during a mass. That I still and will always love singing and dancing.

Work

I received my grade and I am satisfied. I deserve it. =) Now I really have to focus on what's needed to be focused on.

Have a great week everyone!