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Alone in my thoughts

There is this moment of uncertainty that I have felt this morning--moment where I've thought that everyone has abandoned me and I am utterly alone and cold. Like people are insincere that life has been good to them but not to me. That I will never belong. That I should really think of getting out of here. Good thing, customers started to approach me and it was toxic time once again. Hehe...

The truth is, I did feel those things and I am still worried right now. But I have done what I must do. I have fought for my rights. Naks! And the rest is up to God.

This day has also been productive for me. Did what I have always loved doing--studying. I saw this girl busy making notes for her and her classmates. I forgot what med students call it but I envied her life--yes, she's busy but I like to be busy like her. I want to own a laptop, have dozen of thick medical books around me. Oh I just like the pursuit of knowledge. It doesn't matter that people call me a geek--that I am not fashionable. I would be really on high if I can be like that girl--at least that laptop and studying part.

Still am happy.

2 comments:

carmigz said...

Hello po! Salamat sa pagdaan sa blog ko ha.

Pareho tayo. Mahilig ako mag-aral. Lamang ay hanggang hilig lang. Pag andun na, biglang umaatake ang katamaran. lol

Pag-gawa ata ng trans yung ginagawa nung med student na nakita mo.

Pangarap ko rin maging med-student eh. Pero ang mahal. Hindi naman ako super talino kaya 'di ako nakapasa dun sa INTARMED ng UP Manila. Kaya ngayon, pagtitiyagaan ko muna yung pre-med ko (BS Nursing) at mag-iipon.

Wag ka na po mainggit dun sa girl na may laptop at busy na nag-aaral. For all you know, gusto rin niyang maging tulad mo at hindi yung napapagod na tulad ng ginagawa niya.

Ganun naman ata talaga ang nature ng tao eh, 'di ba? Lagi nating gusto yung wala sa atin. Bakit kaya?

Kai said...

What's happening to you? You seem so depressed. :-(

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