Somewhere in my thoughts, I have planned on leaving my church and finding another church that can cater to my needs. This thought came after reading and knowing some truths. But then, along with these thoughts are the questions and doubts. And then one night I came up with a realization.

There is no perfect church because there is no perfect person. And instead of running away from my church, I must do my best to make it better and warmer. I am a Catholic. There are many traditions that Catholics are doing that are not really necessary, but I still believe in the faith that this church is trying to impart to its people. And as long as God is its God, then everything will be alright. I cannot explain here all of what's going on in my head but I am glad to tell you that I do not want to leave my religion. Yes, I'm keeping this. And there are plans formed in my head on how I will be able to do my part as a Catholic/lover of God.

Any other way. With the realization that Apollo is really a jerk and I am lonely and having a hard time to do what I am supposed to do, I do not know what to do with myself most of the time. But if you're going to ask me if I'll have it easier, I'd refuse it. I may be having a hard time most of the time, but I am grateful. I like what is going through with me right now. I need this pain, I need this loneliness, I need this happiness, I need everything that is happening to me now. I am lonely but happy. I am hopeful. All I want is to do my purpose and fulfill my mission.

Of course, I am also hoping that I would finally meet the guy who will really love me and take care of me, and that he will never ever betray me. But I think that God knows what He is doing. And if ever God gives me that kind of guy that must mean that I need it in my life. And right now, maybe God is thinking that I do not need to meet him now. God knows what I need and who I need and He will provide for me. So I guess, with or without a love life, I will be fine.

Updates. I have done shopping for gifts. And I am giving myself time to reflect on the meaning of Christmas. I may not be able to go on line this Christmas, I'll try but I'll just spend my free time going to church and attending the mass. Time to do my share. So I'm greeting everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.


yen said...

god will give u the right person at the right time and place. and i like wat u said.."with or without lovelife, i will be fine"... girl power! hehe. u dont need a man to complete or to make u happy.. the most important person in ur life is yourself, so make urself happy w/o having to think when is the right man will come... am i making any sense here? haha.. sorry, its past 2 in the morning at nagmamalfunction na ata ang utak ko..anyways, i still wish u a peaceful day not only on xmas but 4 all the yrs to come

Anonymous said...

God always provides.Ü With that I want to wish you a merry christmas!Ü smile jassy. =)

maligayang pasko,

yayam said...

im sure you'll find him jassy. :) maybe not now, but surely, you'll find your soulmate. :)

happy holidays! :D

tin said...

God is very wise. Really really smart. All the things we hope for will come, in His time.

merry christmas! =)

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