Nth Chapter

There are moments when you have to accept something you cannot change. The rule is if you want free rides, follow the rules of the driver or anyone in command.

The lifevest I have is only one. I can only save someone if he won't drag me down. How can I help someone if I'll let him pull me down. I didn't say I'm up there. But I'm trying to live this life with a purpose, trying to realize my mission. Living without a mission is lonely. I don't want to be always lonely.

Last night I couldn't help but cry on my way home. God, I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything to pursuade someone I want to show how beautiful life is.

I am not strong. I can only ask for strength from above. And so I realized what I should be doing in the first place. This is something out of my control. And I cannot help someone if that someone is not willing to help himself.

Head should rule the heart. I'm leaving it all up to God.

But here's something I can do. Pray and lend a helping hand. Lend a shoulder to cry on. And my harsh tongue for reality check.

Plus, I've been thinking about my career. Rest is over. I need to do something again about my career. I have to upgrade cv's.

I'm still young with small wings. I need this experience and this time to learn the lessons in flying. I have my wings. I can fly but not that high. And when that time comes when I can fly my highest. I know the people to thank for. And I promise myself that I will never ever forget them.

Speaking of, out of curiosity, I looked at my "past" profile. He had a pic where he wore a tuxedo. Sorry, but no matter how luxurious he dressed, he still looked ugly inside and out for me. I'm not angry. I am not bitter. It's just a reality that hit me. There is nothing I should regret about the past. Everything that happened is for the best. And though I can't say that I have found the one and I am in no way sure that I would find him. I can say that I am happier now than before.