Something Different

I have polished a very rough edge in my character and I am continuing on polishing it. And now, I am ready to start on the other rough edges of my character.

Everyday is a reflection day for me and last night while deleting some messages on my phone I found this:

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you
don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're
always in the same place. Take risks for life goes on.

Which makes me think of one truth. That how can you make a difference if you won't do something different. And so last night I listed down the things that I never really do. I came up with lots and I think most of them I can really do right now. And I've set my mind on doing one thing regularly. That is to SMILE.

I asked myself why I am never fond of smiling. My serious suplada look always put me in trouble. It stripped me off opportuinities. I want to smile a lot but when I find no reason to smile or when I'm not in the mood, I don't smile.

I know now why. When I was a kid, the camera loves me. And the mirror loves me. And I have observed that when I smile I don't look as beautiful as when I'm not smiling. So whenever someone would take a shot of me, I saw to it that I wouldn't smile. I guess, this thought stayed with me until now.

I practiced smiling last night and I can say that I look uglier when I smile. But the camera is different from the human eyes. And so I will really, really try to smile more.

***

My cousin Jeng gave birth to a cute baby girl last night. My Mom and I were there with her family. Watching and observing how a woman becomes a mother is a great learning experience.

I have observed how painful laboring is. And I have seen the logic with all the prescriptions given to the father to be bought. I now have a clearer view of what Nubain, Methergin, and Oxytocin are used for.

I have seen the beauty of giving birth and witnessing the arrival of a new life.

Do I want to be a mother? Yes. Someday.

And I found out last night one trivia about me. I was supposed to be delivered out of my mother's womb on the 15th of the month but my Mother gave birth to me 10 days earlier. I always thought that I came out late. But the truth is, I came out early. Maybe that's why things aren't yet happening to me. But it will come. That's why I am making way for all the best things to come. I am making way.