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When It Rains, It pours

My work is really giving me a hard time. It's hard to be specific here because I might put something offensive...so that's it na lang.

Anyway, I am trying to renew my spirit. I'm still battling with my personal issues. I'm doing a great job.

"Touch me and I will follow
As I let you go...
I will find a way...
I am living in your afterglow..."
--INXS (Afterglow)

I've been mentioning over and over about the story of my family and our path to forgiveness. Our parents are one by one entering their 60s. Meaning 20% discounts and OSCA IDs...old age...

We, the next in line, are either entering marriages or thinking of entering it. We are about to start our own stories. We can feel it. I am so pressured with that. Allthe responsibilities. Can I handle those? Our dramas will be played. There is no stop, pause, forward, or rewind...there is only play. It's scary because I'm still not sure about myself. It's like diving into the ocean. Some of my cousins have already dive into it. I want to make it right the first time. If only I have a choice, I would choose the easier way...but no, by the looks of it, I have to go through it the hard way. And so from now on, with everything that is happening to me, with every painful words that are coming from the mouth of those "concerned", I'm taking it as a blessing--as an added armor, as a way to be strong. And for the past few days, a sign has pop itself up, I'm taking that as the point when I'm gonna start my own story.

My life is just beginning. From then on, my choices will be mine.

2 comments:

yen said...

i dont see any reason to rush urself into making a BIG decision, marriage is a sacred thing, if u feel ure not prepared for it yet, theres nothing wrong to wait. give urself more time. goodluck :)

Anonymous said...

Hello Jassy,
Wow. We really are grown-ups now. Imagine the things that we talk about or have to deal with -- tough stuff. Marriage is one thing that I think am scared of. Once you do it, you cant take it back. Though I feel that it's really about readiness :: emotionally, mentally, financially. Because the responsibilities that come with marriage are not simple. Anyways, I think there's no need to russ-h right now. But then, if it's time, it's time.

Nice post,
Russ

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