My Heart

Although others try to kill my overwhelming dreams, they still persist. Losing time but never the passion.

Spending time with friends teaches me that I am loved and capable of communicating with others.

Spending time with Raymond teaches me that I am special and that someone believes in me--that I can handle responsibilities.

Spending time with family teaches me that I am so blessed by God and that I am never neglected.

Spending time with myself teaches me to discover, realize, and do something better or great about my life.

So far, the pursuit of knowledge persists. And I really want to focus on my career.

I've told God that I want to serve Him. And with the nature of my work, I have been serving Him for almost 2 years now.

But sadly, I haven't been giving Him my best--I've been known to be mean and grouchy to my equally difficult customers. I am just being plain stubborn. I can only think of one reason why and that is discontentment. I feel that I am not being given the best. That there is still something better for me out there. That I still have to work hard for that reward. And that if others can do it, then I can do it also.

It's confusing most of the time.

And it sucks to think that I can only rely on myself.

Yes I have my friends, my family, and him, but I can only rely on myself.

Even God seems distant sometimes.

But I still continue to dream. I continue to reach for my goal. I continue to hope. I continue to believe that God is working for the perfect gift for me. And that makes me long for another day. That makes me try to survive--to fight the urge to give up. That makes me going.

How would you know if a heart is undying? You have to subject it to near-death situations. And if it continues to live, only then can you tell that it is indeed genuine.

God gives me an undying heart.

I am grateful.

I am thankful.

Thank you God for the hope around me.