Letting It Out

It's frustrating not to be recognized. You know you can give a lot and do a lot. But you have to prove yourself first. A lot can be done here in the Philippines. Maybe that's why I am still here. Oh until when?

Based on a case, stress can cause weight gain because of hypercortisolism. I hope my weight gain is not the cause of stress.

I need my friends but where are they? They continue to ignore me. I have no new friends and it makes me sad.

I need a new outlet. Blogging has helped a lot but I can try a new hobby.

Enjoyable part time jobs...where can I find one?


Richard said...

Ouch. I can definitely relate to the way you are feeling.

The worst thing, I think, is not to be hated or despised, but to be ignored, forgotten, invisible.

I went through a pretty bad period a few years ago when I felt alone and forgotten. It was a terrible strain on my marriage, fortunately, I more or less recovered.

I think blogging helped in the recovery process. I was pretty lucky back then to come across a number of blogs of people who were sort of at the same stage I was, so it was nice to share with them. Many of them have stoped bloggin now (or very sporadically - and I am guilty of being pretty sporadic these past many months).

You hae to recognize that eating is a coping mechanism, a source of comfort. I used to know I shouldn't eat so much, but I didn't care. It comforted me to eat and snack.

Now I go for long walks, alone, in a strange land (Madrid, Spain), among people with whom I cannot communicate (I only speak English and some French). I don't really mind it. Somewhere, somehow, in my mind it has finally clicked that I need to lose weight and finally have the drive for it (but, oddly enough, I don'y know what my motivation is. The only thing of importance for me is the goal, the reason for the goal is a mystery).

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