Grateful

This is the speech my sister presented during our Lola's funeral:
In behalf of our family, we want to say that we are truly grateful for the support you have given us in this time of grieving.

Nanay Metring has been the matriarch of the whole Titular family. Not only Titular, but her whole relatives. People value her opinion. Lahat ginagalang ang sinasabi niya. She may be strict, matapang, conservative and frank but she does it with love. Tunay na mapagmahal siya, at pinapakita niya iyon sa iba’t ibang paraan.

Each and everyone of us has touching and funny stories to tell about her. If there’s one thing that we remember about her—they are her stories. We all value her stories.

She loves everyone close to her. She gets easily affected. She even thinks about her boarders. If she’s so concerned with other people, what more when it comes to her offsprings.

Paladasal siya. Kaya naman siguro umabot siya sa ganyang edad. She has a strong will to live. Her doctor even told us in one of those times that she was hospitalized that it seemed that she was not ready to die. Because she still wanted to see her family secure. Nakwento nga niya nung nag-agaw buhay siya noon na sinusundo na siya ng Mamay, pero hindi pa siya sumama. Ayaw pa raw niya.

She is an excellent judge of character. Unang tingin pa lang niya alam na niya.
Masipag siya.

She is also quite vain. Palaging nakapostura. Di iyan umaalis ng bahay o humaharap sa tao ng basta na. Kaya nung siyay binawian na ng buhay, dali-dali kong pinahanap ang pustiso niya dahil bilin niya na isuot ang pustiso niya kapag siyay namatay dahil ayaw daw niyang mamatay ng bungal.

Siya ang puntahan tuwing Pasko, piyesta, at sa tuwing umuuwi ang mga tao sa Sabang. At ngayon, siguradong maninibago ang lahat. Napakagaling makisama kaya’t parating puno ng bisita ang bahay nila. Napakamatulungin din niya. Bukas ang bahay niya sa mga taong nangangailangan. Ilan na nga ba ang mga taong sandaling nanuluyan sa bahay nila.

Siguro kung tatanungin ang Nanay, ang gusto niyang ipagpatuloy ay ang pagbubuklod ng pamilya. Ang patuloy na pagtutulungan dahil tayo ay magkakamag-anak. Dahil tayo ay magkakapamliya. Sino pa nga bang tutulong sa bawat isa kung hindi tayo-tayo lang. Sana’y maunawaan at maisagawa ito ng bawat isa sa atin. At sa iba pa naming mga kamag-anak, sana’y di dito magtapos ang ugnayan ng pamilya at magandang samahan.

At sa inyong lahat na naririto, sigurado kami na natutuwa ang Nanay sa inyong pagdamay. Sumalangit nawa ang kaluluwa niya.

She has lived a life filled with love. And with that, we will always remember you, Nanay.

Sleep

I miss a lot of people. I haven't gone out ever since I started my MS. I'm swamped with work, assignments and other self-studies about my work. Every working day is full.



I would have gone back to Manila right now but I am a bit lonely and so I decided to stay here for a while. Maybe it's PMS. I need to take a breather. But instead of doing that, I stayed in front of the telly, got sleepy and woke up seeing Mom already here.

I would have gone to the resort where Jhen's party would be held but it was already late. I need to wake up early tomorrow.

I will take a breather now.=)

Looking Back

There I was, looking at your photographs. You looked so happy with her. If things were different, could it be us?

But I tried, right?

Should I have regrets? Or did you only consider me as a friend?

Quenched

After a very long time I finally attended a mass. Thank God for our "tuklong".

Does it die with age?

Idealism is for the young. Is that true? Young people has this beautiful view about the world--about their society. But as they grow older they realize that it's not all that. A lot of the idealists I know has now join the other side.

But I know someone who is still continuing on. Despite the discouragement she gets from others--especially he own family, she still fights for the greater good. And I admire her for that. She is such a visionary. I hope something good comes out of this fight.

Service is service it is never profit. If not, then don't ruin the country. This is for those who want to ruin the country.

The funeral

I met my relatives (father side) again after a long time. I can honestly say that I really miss them. I hope to have a reunion with them.

We decided to go to the mall and ate lunch there. My cousin who is a police officer treated us to lunch...yes!

Then after that we parted ways. I would have wanted to have kwentuhan and all those stuff but we each have something to do--well except for me because I was off duty.

E was also with me. I wanted him to meet my relatives sa father side.

Kuya Herry

He was so much present during my childhood. He helped us out in our store. He lived with us, until his wife followed him from Nasugbu. And he and his family all lived with our Tita Rose. Then I became busy with studies and work and I seldom see him.

The last time I saw him was during Lola's funeral--I guess. He was still well and "healthy" looking.

Last Saturday I could have visited him at the hospital. But knowing that the doctor has already talked with us that he was just waiting for the time, and knowing that I couldn't do much to help him, and that I kinda hated seeing any of my relatives at the ICU because it reminded me of Dad, and because I was just lazy, I decided not to visit him, hoping that he would make it.

But again, I was wrong.

He's with Dad, Lola, Lolo now. Maybe they're all busy catching up.

To you Kuya Herry, sorry for not visiting you at the hospital. But it's better to keep a memory of you as a healthy man. May you rest in peace and be with the Lord in paradise.

Locus of Control

There are people who blame others—other people, the universe, fate of what happens in their lives. Then there are those who put their destiny in their own hands—self-made people. They think that they can change their situation—people who know the secret.

I'm just glad that I took the Management subject because I get to learn about these things.=)

Cory Aquino

Cory Aquino is like my Mom. She is one of a kind. She’s strong, but gentle at the same time, she’s like a mother to this country—a really great mother.

Thank God for people like Cory, my Mom and other women who knows their strength and put it to good use.

To Pres Cory, continue praying for this country. You are with God now. Thank you for using your influence well—for empowering people—for being an icon for democracy.

Rooted

E and I like to discuss about God. This is one of those topics and I'm sharing it with you.=)

In the kingdom of heaven, a group of angels got together for a secret meeting led by God's greatest agel—Lucifer.

Lucifer has been given a lot of priveleges, but it wants more. And so on that moment, they got together to plan of ruling over heaven.

And so it happened, they tried to win over heaven but they failed. God created them to be His companion, but they failed Him. They hurt him. "I've given them the privilege to be with me but they did this...I will not allow any traitor in my kingdom...I will lock them up to a place where fire is constantly burning keeping them from escaping that place." Then there wa hell.

The angels are creations of God that have been given the privilege of being in heaven—of being with God. They can fly, can show themselves simultaneously to different places, they can do many "cool" things but there is one thing they cannot do—they cannot commit any sin. Why? Because they are already in heaven. But then again, maybe God created them with free will, too, therefore it's up to them if they will continue being sinless or suffer the same fate as Lucifer.

How can anyone thought of doing bad things when all the great things are with them? Maybe God has this thought, maybe He's too disappointed with these creatures that He decided to create something else.

But first He will create a place for them. Because He plans to give them free will, too. But He plan not to throw them to hell if ever they made a mistake. In that place is everything they will ever need, in that place is where God will be, too. To be with this creation.

And so He created light and darkness so it won't be too hot or too cold, so they can appreciate God and take a rest. Then water and earth are created so they can have a place to stay and have something to keep them alive. He created nature and animals and this creation will take care of them. He created all these things so this creation will have something to do so this creation will have evrything he needs. Adam was created. He got lonely that's why Eve was also created. They were in paradise. They can do anything, eat what they want, but there is only one rule—don't eat the tree of life. The tree of life symbolizes the greediness to be greater than God. No one can be greater than God.

But then there was Lucifer. I guess it's free to roam the earth but it can never go back to heaven. And on earth (paradise), it tried to tempt these creations—the human beings. Lucifer must have been jealous of humans because they have the free will, and they have second chances. Even though they are not in heaven, everything they need is being given to them. It learned about the tree of life and so it enticed Eve to persuade Adam to eat from the tree of life.

They ate the tree of life. They could have been forgiven and everythibg would have been okay but instead of asking for forgiveness, they blamed one another. They didn't own up to their sins. This made God disappointed. And because human beings are not in heaven, they were thrown out of paradise or maybe God made them realize that they should do things on their own just to survive. They will have to gather fruits instead of it being given to them already. They will have to roam the world to find it—to have a shelter. Reality bit them. Everything they need is still there but they have to realize this first, do something to get it for them to finally find it. God still loves them. He just wanted an apology.

Time passed by and the human beings reproduced. It's been written in history how God is always there to talk to His creation. Until human beings are already so confused that they do things that can only hurt them.

Because the privilege of freely talking with God has been removed, Adam and Eve maybe failed to teach their offsprings how to communicate with God. It's been forgotten. Few people in history has been lucky to have talked with God. But the others did foolish things. How can human beings understand God. It's like this story I've heard about the kid and the ants:

There was a colony of ants that invaded the front yard of this kid's house. His parents hated this colony and so they decided to kill this colony by putting fire in this colony. The kid watched as the ants panicked and ran for their lives. Most of them, instead of going away from the fire, go to the fire instead and they got killed. The kid was shouting, "Don't go there...you will be killed!" But the ants kept on going there. This kid's Dad saw him shouting to the ants and he told his son, "How can the ants understand you, you are human. In order to make them understand you, you have to be an ant, too."

It's exactly what God did. Remember He is God, He can do anything. And so He made himself into a human being so people will finally understand Him. So He can finally save them. He's made the perfect plan. He has to be a real human being—susceptible to pain, born poor, and everything human but He won't commit any sin because He is God, too.

He really has to be human so people will understand that they, too can follow in the footsteps of Jesus. If He can do it, so can you. If He can follow God, so can you.

Jesus' goal is to save humans from sins. God can't eradicate sin because God put free will in every human's soul. He cannot tamper with it because it's like contradicting Himself.

The only thing that anyone who wants to be saved should do is to accept Jesus as his Savior. God loves human beings this much. They need not do good things, thay just have to accept Jesus and they will be saved. That's what you call GRACE. We are undeserving of God's mercy and love, but we are still given mercy and love. That is grace.

It's been written that Jesus will die for our sins but He has to conquer death—He has to resurrect. Resurrection means being able to conquer death, being able to conquer sin. Yes we are not required to do good things just to be saved, but we should also avoid doing sins. To accept Jesus is to love Jesus, to love Jesus is to love God. To love is not to hurt the one you love. To love is to love whom Jesus loves. Sin hurts Jesus, why would you hurt Jesus if you love Him?

Jesus taught us the 2 Greatest Commandments, He taught us how to pray to the Father. He taught us truths about the Father. He taught us about the greatness of heaven. He taught us how to be closer to the Father.

Jesus died for our sins—to pay for our sins because if He didn't do this, then we, the sinners, will have to pay our sins with our lives. Our sins have been paid. We have been saved.

Jesus' resurrection signifies conquering of death. This means we will also conquer death. We just have to follow Jesus—we have to accept Him as our Savior so He will save us from death, so we will also resurrect.

After resurrection, Jesus' goal has been done. He has to go back to heaven. But He leaves the Spirit to be on earth—to be with us. The Spirit is everywhere. We can never escape from the Spirit. If we climb to the ountain the Spirit is there, to the sea, the desert, even if we sleep, the Spirit is there. God is the Spirit. Remember, He is God and He can do anything. He is above us God but He has 3 personas. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.