Lovely Day

Despite waking up early in the morning (not my usual waking time), I have a lovely day.

I have just been a witness to the civil wedding of my friends. Both of them are my friends so I'm really happy to see them get married. All is well that ends well. Love is really magical. Who would have thought that they'll really meet and end up together. They've been through odds and they've conquered them. In the end, their love wins. I'm really happy for both of them.

I also am blessed to hear and listen what the pastor told us about marriage. I am a Catholic but I'm open to teachings from other religions. I wish priests are that easy to approach. Here are some of the lessons I've got:

• Humans are the only creature allowed by God to copulate facing each other. Observe the animals, when they copulate, they are always back to back or the one is turned on its back. Humans are made to make love with each other face to face because it means that they are one. When humans make love, they are made one. So it goes to say that making love is for married couples only.
• Parents should give their offsprings financial assistance. This assistance is for their offspring to start their own family.
• Parents should be respected. And obeyed. People who obey their parents never go astray. During the old times, people have a grand rituals before, during, and after marriage. There are the bethrotals, dowry, and kasunduan. And look what happened to the couples then, less divorce, no battered husband or wife. It is always important to have the blessings of the parents. If the parents bless you, then rest assured that you'll also be blessed by God.
• The cake at wedding signifies equal distribution of wealth to the future offsprings of the married couple.
• Men came from dust, women came from a bone. Hehe...
• Seriously, women should show their love for their husbands by submission to their husbands. Husbands should be the head of the family, never look down or step down on their wives, and they should love and care for their wives. That is why, women are taken from the ribs of the man, near the heart.
• Candles should be lighted from the main candle in the church. This signifies Christ as the source and center of their married life.
• Veil signifies submission of wives and being the head for husbands.
• Cord is for uniting them...making them one.
• Dove symbolizes the Holy Spirit, setting it free.

Good thing I listened and attended today. I am grateful and the food is superb.

This also makes me think of my future. Will I ever get married? Lots of people say that Mon is the one for me. But I can't really say and I'm not planning anymore because I don't want to get disappointed and it seems impossible. But I don't know.

I am glad people at work liked the corn maja my Mom made. I just love my mother's cookings. I'm also delighted because a lot of them also craved for Mom's burong mangga.

New Layout

Once, I've dreamed of sailing out into the sea--to breath a new air, to see what lies on the other side.

Happiness is not the goal but the pursuit of knowledge. My mind seeks answers to the never-ending questions forming in my head.

The wisdom of life once told me that missions should be simple. I obeyed. Thinking that to accomplish that mission is to go out of my place. But the truth lies beneath.

What's the use of going out when I have been accomplishing my mission right here, right now. What's so bad about this existence? It's their dissatisfaction and materialistic view on life that is pushing me down--to dream something not for me. And materialism is eating me.

It's the pursuit of knowledge that is raging within me. It's the fact that my way of becoming my best hit another failure and it seems that I've run out of options.

For the past few weeks, I've been thinking of ways to change the course of my life--to stir the wheel of my destiny to the best direction. It hurts me because I cannot seem to control my life. although I want to escape, facing my life is better.

For weeks, without noticing, I'm fortifying friendships with people. Some people, I now can really open up to freely. No more malice or apprehensions. Hopefully, 2 weeks from now, our first official bonding will push through.

I've changed the layout of this blog. The dust of the past should be swept off and thrown away.

Stresstabs is a new friend of mine. I'm trying to tolerate the 600mg of iron in my body. I wanted to end my anemic point of view and an end to my anemic body. Hehe...

Next month, I'll try to introduce Vit E and Calci-aid to my body.

Summer has long been over for me. Disappointingly, I've never had the time to go to the beach. For the first time, my summer has been stormy.

But I'm looking forward to the holidays. My holidays had always been cold. Hopefully, it's gonna be warm this year.

And before I end this, I want to greet my prettiest sister a HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!

Conversation

What's up?! Everyone! It's been a while because I have been busy with work. I tried to finish my report for the journal club but then my partner told me that we were to report next week. So here I am, enjoying the week. Saka na muna ang report.

Nothing much really happened. But I have interesting conversations with people. We talked about the Beatles and Nora Aunor. Know why nothing beats their popularity? Because people of this generation are loaded with information that their attention span is so short nothing stays to be that popular.

I've been tagged by Naomi:

(10) TEN LISTS OF MY LIFE'S SIMPLEST PLEASURES:

1. Blogging. It's fun to analyze what's happening in my life and having a look at other's lives. And I really respect those who are not afraid to share their thoughts.
2. Walking. And reflecting. Be it in the dirty streets of Recto or the clean polished streets of Makati, even in Lipa...I just like walking.
3. Going to Carmel in Lipa. It helps unburden my soul.
4. Music. I love music.
5. Watching tv. I am learning a lot just by watching tv.
6. Softball. Although I seldom play, I just love the game.
7. Talking with my family and relatives. Catching up on each others' lives
8. Watching movies. Movie buff ako
9. Reading pocketbooks.
10. Saying I love you to someone.

I am tagging everyone. It's always a great idea to count our blessings.

***

I've changed my number. And I deleted some contacts that I do not want to contact anymore. To completely move on and rid of my life of the marks my past left behind. It still hurts sometimes. It's surprising to know that I have survived that pain. And it's clear that I never want to feel that pain again. Not anymore. I won't allow that ever again.

I am starting a new life.

The Ball in Us

My sister, Raymond, and I have something in common. We all love ball games. Mine and my sis is softball and Raymond's is basketball. The last time I went home, we all played softball. We weren't allowed to hit our strongest though because windows might be broken.

I'm looking forward to playing it again.

Construction

I'm editing the colors of this blog. Hirap kase when you don't know anything about photoshop. Anyway, next time hanap naman ako ng ibang style. But right now I'm a bit busy. Reports and other paperworks. God protect me from the enemies that I can and cannot see. Protect the people that I love.

Nakakatakot ang mundo.

Let's Talk About the Weather

"How do you find the weather?"

That's the very odd question asked by my interviewer while we were having the Speaking IELTS exam almost a year ago. Truthfully, I don't know what to answer him. And so I went on and on, blabbing just to fill those minutes meant for speaking.

And this morning on my way south, I looked out into the bay and thought about the weather. A few days ago, the weather was hot like taking a bath more than once is the only answer, that wishing I were on a beach is heaven. But now, the weather has changed its mind. Forcing me to wear a cardigan because it's so cold. And keeping me from wearing khakhi colored pants because it's wet all around.

With the weather you'll never know. This changes in weather made me interested in how storms/ typhoons are formed. Do you have any idea? Oh well, walking the wet streets of Manila made me wish of walking the streets of Makati instead. Makati on a rainy day is clean as compared to Manila streets...leprosy is constant on my mind.

But I'm kinda grateful that it's just water and not snow or sand on my path. I'm not sourgraping or anything. The truth is, I've shifted my dreams on US of A, instead of the land down under or the dessert in the middle east. But that dream is so far fetched. Inch by inch, maybe I'll get there. I'll never really know.

My co-workers were telling me about the openings in other countries. And it made me realize that I'm not ready to leave this country yet. Leaving in the sense that I'll have no one around me. That I'll be there all alone. Australia and Dubai were easy to swallow because I have friends and relatives there. But aside from that...I don't know.

Oh by the way, I've started a small business with my family and Raymond. I named it DELING'S DELIGHTS. Named after my Mom who is behind that deliciously mouth-watering burong mangga.

Speaking of, it's Mother's Day today and instead of spending it with my Mom, I spent it with Mon because I still have a duty tonight. We went to ATC. And we found shoes on sale. I was glad that I've done buying that shoes. Next on the line is a heavy duty sandals.

Bags. I love to buy one now but I have to follow my budget.

Am I being materialistic? I hope not.

Seek and you shall find. Ask and you will be answered. I'm asking and praying and hoping to find a job at that place with the salary and compensations that I want. That prayer is attainable. I really hope it will come true.

Anyway, to all the Moms out there HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

And to my Mom, bukas na lang ako babawi kapag nasa bahay na ako. I love you.

Survivors

He is someone whose life ended before he shines his brightest. She is someone whose life just started.

Or.

He is someone who has survived a major trial in his life. And after people gave up on him, here she comes, a survivor in her own right. Together, they should and could bring out the best in each other.

Happy ending is their option and their decision.

Be brave enough to look love in the eye and admit that it is indeed in front of you. Waiting. Knocking. Let it in. Be embraced by its magic. Be brave enough to be happy.

***

Meet K. A very beautiful lady I've known from my past. She has been through a lot, with her family and her loved ones. A product of a broken family. Recently, I've heard that she became pregnant and lost her baby accidentally. But still she keeps on sailing. Knowing her, although she isn't aware of it, bring inspiration in my tired soul. I really am inspired with her life. She is beautiful inside and out.

Youths know what is right from wrong. Well, almost all of us. Our parents are able to raise us well. They should take credit for that. But sometimes, we make mistakes. Although we know what is rught. Although we know what is wrong. But in the end, with guidance and support, we will always be able to stand up, dust ourselves off, learn form the mistakes, become better, and move on. Youths are not clueless. We're just open to what life has to offer us.

***

One sad news. I have always mentioned here about my plans in going abroad, particularly Australia. The result came out yesterday and I failed the exam. I am not keeping it a secret that I've loaned money for that. And after that result, well...I have to pay it bit by bit. And honestly, I don't know what to do next.

God took from me my dream. This serves as a reminder that my dreams shouldn't be my center. God should be the center. I trust God on this one. That He has a good reason for my failure. He alone should be my center and my first. God, I am all yours. Use me for your purpose.

I am not mad at the world. I am even afraid of it. However, I am battling with envy. I envy my friends who are all now outside the country becoming successful and richer. They can help not only their family, but also their relatives, and other people around them.

Service. That's my main goal in life. I want to serve God and I can do that by serving others. My resources are not really plenty but I make the most out of it. I know that there are plenty of ways to serve others. And service I have started a long time ago.

Service with joy. With all that I have.

God I am all yours. Use me for your purpose. Let your will be done and not mine.

Happenings

May 1:

I went to Antipolo church with my relatives. It was extra special this time because it was the first time that all of us attended the mass together. We used to go separate ways after reaching Antipolo. Some would buy kasoy, suman, and stuff right after reaching the place, while others hit the church right away. This time, all of us went inside the church together.

However, there was also an air of sadness. Because Aunt Lagreng passed away already. She lived in Marikina, and it has been a tradition that right after going to Antipolo church, we would go directly at their house for a get together and to visit them. It was our first time there that she wasn't around.

Arriving at Marikina, I ate right away because I was starving. Then after that, I talked with my cousins for a while. Then I slept. I was just sleepy. And I couldn't explain the loneliness inside of me. That I just chose to sleep rather than dwell on it.

Last year, our general topic there at Marikina was my cousin/niece Kristel. It was such an issue that there were cryings and discussions. Everyone in our clan had a say about it.

This year, the general topics were changing boyfriends, insurance, lands, and vacation plans.

We left Marikina at 430pm. I didn't go back to Lipa with them. Instead, I headed to Araneta Center in Cubao to meet up with Mon, Lester, and Ate Diane to watch the Bad Boys Tour 2006. They played against Team Pilipinas.

The game was awesome. Although I just think that the NBA people didn't give their best. Well, it was a friendly game. It was for fun and entertainment. The PBA rockstar dancers or something like that caught my eye. I wanted to dance like them. I wanted to be with them. Hehe...

The message for May 1 told by the priest during the homily was that we shouldn't waste our talents. Wasting them is a sin. Idleness and laziness is a sin.

Congratulate me, too because it was my first time to attend one whole mass after some months. I am really happy.

May 2:

I couldn't explain again the feeling, but pangs of homesickness bit me. And so I headed home at 5 in the afternoon, arriving home at 7pm. I just felt like my vacation wasn't complete and I should end it. Closure. And so I went home again.

May 3:

Biron and I were welcomed with the barkings of the dogs in our compound as we were trying to get outside for me to go back to Manila at 4 in the morning. I panicked. But I tried my best not to run.

Anyway, a friend sent me this message:

When you love, never stick only to what your heart feels. Sometimes
using your brain is a necessity. Never use your eyes to cry for the person
who fooled you. Instead, use it to search for the right one.

Don't be scared of breaking up, keeping a relationship with a selfish
partner is scarier.

Love the one who will fight for you and bravely face each and every
consequences. Love the one who will accept you and love you more despite
the great mistakes you did. Love the one who would hold on. some one
who would never let the feelings be gone. Love is a gift and not an
obligation.

***

I came across this from a book. And it said that if we want to be always close to God, we should ask for Mama Mary's help. We should pray the rosary. Just like John. Notice that he was the only one who never left Jesus. He was so afraid that time that he wanted to hide just like everyone else, but Mary held on to him. And so he wasn't able to hide. Mama Mary is one of the ways to stay close to God.

***

Heard this from one of the episodes of Maalaala Mo Kaya:

Di bale ng sira ang ulo, wag lang sira ang puso.

That is one great wisdom. I know one person who follows that. It is better to be insane, than not knowing love at all.